I’ve always had a complicated relationship with the very singular personality that is William Bruce West. “We didn’t always see eye to eye…” is a phrase that springs to mind, but like the man, it’s more complicated than that. Online William cultivated a version of himself, a louder, take-no-prisoners, overly honest version that had opinions on practically every possible facet of pop culture, and he was not afraid to get into the weeds of an argument about minutia of sitcom tropes or comic book politics. As a perennial podcast guest (which is where I first met him just over 13 years ago) and eventual host, I became more familiar with a slightly less contentious version of Will that was sort of a middle ground between his social media personality and his truer self. It’s that truer self that I had the pleasure of meeting in person on a handful of occasions over the last 13 years. That Will is the person that I already miss, and one who will greatly be missed as this life trudges on without him.
I first talked to Will back in March of 2013 when I was invited on the Underscoop Fire podcast (along with another friend who left us too early, Jason Gross) to battle him in a virtual arena of 90s television trivia. When I accepted the guest spot I knew I’d be going up against William and Jason, both of whom I knew through social media, but neither of whom I’m met in real life yet, and honestly, I was intimidated. Mostly by Will. Will was never quiet about the length and breadth of his exacting pop culture knowledge, and I’m more of a “paraphrase it” kind of guy. This was at a time when I was also still coming to terms with the difference between the idea of who I was online and who I was as a person. Shy, unsure and anxious, though an honest reflection of myself at the time, was not who I was trying to project, but because of that I found myself accepting a lot of podcast guest appearances even though I was struggling with a lot of feelings of stage fright and imposter syndrome. So getting my ass handed to me by Will in a trivia battle was not the best first introduction. In my mind Will came to thrown down, and I was just a Jobber he suplexed with some sitcom trivia.
Here’s the thing though. March of 2013 was a huge pivot in my life personally. This was at a time when I was closing the book on a large portion of my adult life to that point and starting on a crazy new journey that would lead me to confront and conquer many of my biggest fears. I was not where I wanted to be in life and I was making a lot of changes to find the right path that would lead me to where I did want to be. One of those changes was putting myself “out there”, like accepting guest spots on podcasts where I knew I was out of my league and comfort zone. Will didn’t know it, but he was a part of my pivot, a part of me finding a happier place in my life. It was in those weeks in March of 2013 when internally I said, “screw it, I’ll risk embarrassment to grasp a hold onto a more exciting future”. As silly as it sounds, that podcast appearance was a step in that direction.
Over the next few years I ended up moving from Atlanta to Baltimore, close to William’s neck of the woods, and I started bumping into him kind of regularly, usually at toy shows or pop culture conventions. This is when I started to get to know a different Will, one that wasn’t so quick to play Devil’s Advocate or to be so confrontational about some weird esoteric fact. One of my standout memories from this period of my life was when I made plans to meet up with another good online friend Chad at a used book and physical media store to thrift for an afternoon. William also met up with us and I got to spend a couple hours getting to know both of them better. Again, this was rare for me to put myself out there and literally meet online friends in person, which was just not a thing I did all that often.
Years went by and we’d chat online, but we stopped bumping into each other as often. We both started families and had children and life became hectic, as it does. I was always aware of Will and what he was doing, I mean it was hard not to as his online personality was undeniable. In that time, it seemed like he was ramping up and starting new projects, whereas I was ramping down a bit and consolidating my online activities. But this led to yet another big pivot in my life where we’d sort of come into each other’s view in a greater focus. As I mentioned, another of our shared online friends, Jason Gross, had passed away unexpectedly, and it made me reflect on the footprint I was leaving in my personal projects that I shared online. I was so grateful that Jason had taken the time to write a short autobiography, something with which I could read as I grieved his loss, and it spurred me to start sharing more personal stories of my time growing up in the 80s as well as things I’ve dealt with over the past fifteen years that have drastically changed me as a person, my Excerpts of a Memoir series I’m slowly writing and sharing here. Some of these have been hard to put into words and scary to share, though I honestly expected very few people who have been reading my site to engage with. But one of the most vocal supporters of this was William. He reached out to me outside of social after I wrote of some of the hardships I’ve dealt with in the wake of some of my family drama to share similar stories from his life. We got to talking and we realized that we’d both become caregivers to family members in situations that were kind of impossible and insane. Will was there for me to share some of my stories that probably won’t end up online, and I was happy that I could be there for him to share things that for once, he was very reluctant to talk about.
Fast forward to April of last year when a bunch of folks who have been in the podcast orbit of shows like Nerd Lunch and the Atomic Geeks decided to do a meet-up at C2E2 in Chicago. The trip had been planned for almost half a year, and it was only at the last minute that William managed to free up his schedule and join us at the convention. I was stoked because it was another chance to get some time to talk and catch up after we’d started having some more personal life conversations. And it was cathartic and something that I feel we both needed. One of the days we spent a solid two hours getting into some heavy shit about families and caregiving, stuff that’s hard to talk about even with the closest folks in our lives sometimes because it’s draining and ultimately just feels like complaint-diarrhea that no one wants to listen to. The fact that we could do this for each other was huge for me.
But again, as life does in your thirties and forties, things got in the way, we got wrapped up in our own dramas again and I hadn’t really checked in with Will again for almost a year when we found out that he’d suffered a massive stroke and was then in the ICU for months. It was during this time that I again feel blessed that this group of folks I’ve latched onto are so prolific in both writing and podcasting. During the time when William was in the hospital, I’ve been able to get a little bit closer to him by binging episodes of his hilarious podcast he does with his co-host Adam called Remember That Show. Will’s voice has literally been in my head almost every day for the past two and a half months as I made my way through episodes of that show, as well as seeking out all of the episodes he’s co-hosts or guested on the Wizards Podcast (also with Adam), the Advent Calendar House (one of which I had the chance to record with Will), Nerd Lunch and Totally Rad Christmas. What’s crazy is that in getting to know Will just a little bit closer through some of our shared trauma, I was able to unlock that aggressive online version of his personality to see that real Will behind the facade a bit and I was very thankful that I could do that, that there is such a wealth of his observations and stories available to dig into. I was really hoping to get a chance to talk to him some more and admit that though we’d had a lot of dumb pop culture arguments over the years, that I’m glad we did.
Unfortunately, that kind of thing, that kind of urge to connect in a more meaningful way, to say thank you for being who you are and sharing yourself, isn’t something we get to do all that often. The irony is that it’s a realization we have when we discover that we won’t get to have that chance. We were all so hopeful that Will was going to pull through past this phase, but sadly William passed away this weekend and even though I’ve been grieving for a while it was still a shock and I feel terrible for his wife and children. I’m thankful that they shared him with the rest of us, that he touched so many of our lives, made us laugh, made us angry, and his absence will be huge. I argued with William a lot over the last 13 years, and I’m very sad that we won’t get a chance to do that again. Instead I’ll download a version of William, what he left behind online and revisit those shows and essays and take some comfort in the fact that I at least got the chance to hang out a few times in the very real in-person world.
If you know Will and would like to help out his family during a time when the last thing they need to think about is money, there is a Go Fund Me set up. In the meantime, check out his podcasts and celebrate a life that had such a big impact on a lot of us nerds. I’m a better person for knowing you Will.
